My Creative Side

My Creative Side

Poems, Paintings and More

These are old poems from highschool. I was going through some depression, and writing helped me get through some of that. These don't reflect my attitude on life anymore.

Castle Walls
Building a wall around me
Peering out the gate
A dark world is what I see
A world full of hate
Letting no one enter
Too afraid to step out
They all say they love me,
But my heart is full of doubt
Feeling isolated and hollow
Trapped behind this wall
Wanting to Belong
But I fear Ill be rejected
So farther down I fall
Painting a pleasing picture
For everyone to see
But everything else
Is falling apart inside of me
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Cutter
I slit a vein
Pushing out all the inside pain
Streaming down my skin is a river of blood
Red tears drip down and create a flood
I see a reflection in a mirror
Holding in all the sadness and fear
I can't believe this is really me
My mind is clouded by all these emotions making it hard for me to see
Standing there watching myself bleed
I think someone who actually cares and loves me is all I need
My drug is not speed or weed but this knife
I really do hate myself and my worthless life
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Prince Charming?
Here in bed is where I lay
dreaming that you're my prince charming
here to take me away
Will you really love me no matter what?
Can I believe what you say?
Will you be able to open the doors in my heart that are shut?
Do you hold the key?
Can you see inside
passed the problems and misery?
Will it be sincere
when you tell me you love me
that you'll take away my fear?
Would you hold me in your arms
and promise to protect me
from anything that harms?
Do you think that us meeting was fate?
Do you believe we belong together?
Could you be my soul mate?
Will you whisper sweet nothings in my ear
and when I'm hurting and crying
will you wipe away my tear?
When I give you my fragile heart
will you treasure it?
Can I trust that eventually you won't break it apart?
If I let you get close to me
and we fall head over heels in love
does this mean we're meant to be?
If I don't give it a chance and let you go
Will I be making a mistake?
How would I ever know?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Crying Out
In my mind is this contemplation
to succumb to this overwhelming compulsion
of self- destruction
to leave you in devastation
i'm reaching up out of the darkness in desperation
for someone to pull me out of this state of desolation
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So here I am alone again with nothing but my thoughts

Like how you were the one for me but now I know you're not

All the sweet things that you said I know were never true

and the only reason you said them was to get me in bed with you

You blinded me with loving words and held me in your arms

I was feeling vulnerable and couldn't resist your charm

so here I am alone again wishing I could change the past

I would do things differently like maybe not move so fast

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Here's the outside of a present I got for DJ. I couldn't find any wrapping paper, so I covered it with pictures. I thought it was kind of creative. *giggles* He saved it. *smiles* I got him a Korn shirt and a shotbead necklace for our one month (dating) anniversary.