Diary

Well, I had a pretty awesome weekend! I went to Vacaville (DJ's town). I met his brother and a couple of his friends. His nephew Jacob is just as cute as can be!
DJ and I went and saw From Hell and went to his favorite restaurant, Mongolian BBQ. It was sooo good! It's all you can eat. You fill up a bowl of whatever you want and take it up to the front and they fry it up for ya. It was yummy, and I wouldn't mind having some right now.
We came back early Sunday morning. It was almost 2 am by the time we got here. It's REALLY hard to drive on that road because it's so dark. We had a couple little scares which fueled my fear of driving.
We went to church at 11:30 am yesterday, and then we went on a picnic, kinda. We weren't at the park for very long. It was extremely windy, and I was having a really hard time eating my sandwich because of my stupid hair!
DJ went back home last night. I hate when he has to go back home. I didn't cry, but I felt a little depressed last night. This weekend was really good. We drove about 5 hours Saturday so it gave us time to talk. I think I'm getting a lot better at opening up to him. *smiles* Our relationship is becoming really strong. I've never been so serious about someone. I love him so much and can't imagine being with anyone else.

I just got home from baby sitting three little boys ages 4, 7 and 9. I had a lot of fun! *giggles* We pretend like we were on some weird planted and were walking around giant caves with green goo running down the walls! Tim (7 year old) said you are the best baby sitter we've ever had! You actually play! The 4 year old Matthew was just so sweet! He said I had pretty hair. Anyway, I had a good night. I made 30 bucks for playing! *smiles*
DJ is coming to visit tomorrow! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry I haven't written in so long! DJ came to visit this last weekend. He went home last night. I started crying. I hate goodbyes. He had to work though. That's what he's doing right now. He's probably dead tired. He didn't sleep much while he was here. I actually slept quite a bit. I was sick last week. I went to the doctor on Thursday and got a whole bunch of meds. Oh, that reminds me. I need to take them again!
Anyway, I had a lot of fun this weekend even though I was a little sick. I just hope DJ doesn't get it! I told you we shouldn't have kissed! Ah, I couldn't help it though!
We went to the marina again Saturday night. We brought two blankets, some drinks and chips to munch on. We laid down on a lifeguard tower. It was cold! *note to self don't stick ur cold hands on DJ* He fell asleep and was out for about a half hour. I sat there and sang to myself.
He was being silly yesterday and sucked on my forehead. He said he was sucking my brains out. Well, it left a small hickey on my forehead. I'm sure it'll be gone in a couple days. *giggles*
I bought DJ his first Christmas present. It isn't much. I don't know what else to get him. I still have a while. I'm thinking I should get stuff that I'd like in case he decides to break up with me before then. *hehe* I really don't think we're going to break up. Things are going so well. I just love him so much. I can't imagine myself being with anyone else and it's hard because I feel like he doesn't trust me. It sort of made me cry on the way to the marina thinking about it. I guess because he doesn't realize how much I love him. If you really love someone you're not going to cheat on them. I don't want anyone else. I feel so happy and comfortable where I am right now. I can't imagine not having him in my life. He's my DJ and I'm his Rachel and it will be that way forever unless he decides he doesn't want me any more or if one of us dies. Gosh, lets not think about that though.
In eight days we will have been going out for 3 months. *smiles* That's good, and it's still going really strong. We just clicked right away. When I first met him I was like dude, he's hot. There's no way I'd ever have a chance with him! I am so glad I was wrong!

Did anything exciting happen today?! No, not really. Katie (our puppy) knocked over a plant and spread dirt all over the living room floor. I cleaned it up. My advice to you all today is don't stick the vacuum cleaner hose on ur forehead for very long.
The milk expired today! That's the other exciting thing that happened. I was a little worried that it might not be good. Doesn't it always worry you a little when you eat or drink something that's expired?! I gave the rest of it to my mother. *grin* *giggles*
I made dinner tonight. I had to wear goggles and stuff some napkins up my nose when I was cutting the onions. It seriously makes you cry otherwise! I told you nothing exciting happened! It is a Monday!

There's not much going on today. I was going to go to church, but I was up too late last night. I haven't gone in months. I'll try go next week.
Today I'm going to do laundry and paint my bathroom. I gotta go. Stupid dog chewed up my mics...

I went to a club tonight called Kicks. They mostly played hip hop and techno. I had so much fun! I love dancing. I think I might go dancing more, and I'm sure it burned a lot of calories! I only danced with a couple guys. I turned the rest down after that and hung out with the group I came with. It was pretty cool cuz I got pulled up into one of the cages and danced with this guy Jay or Derek. I can't remember what his name was. *giggles*
Anyway, I had fun, and don't worry I was a good girl. I didn't do anything inappropriate. I do have a boyfriend!

DJ called me tonight. *smiles* I tried so hard not to cry or anything. I did after we hung up. I just miss him. Love is crazy. I just know deep in my heart that he's the one. He just has to be, and when you find that person you want to be with for the rest of your life...*sighs* I dunno...
Having a long distance relationship is difficult. I knew it would be. There's no way in hell I'd ever back out of it now. I love him way too much.
I had a long talk with my mom tonight. I'm so glad I'm out of the "I hate my mother" phase. I felt like the talk was really good. I talked to her about having DJ come live with us. I think it'd be a really good idea. DJ wants to take some computer classes. I don't see how he can do that if he's working and having to pay rent. If he lived here he wouldn't have to pay rent. He wouldn't have to pay for dsl or cable. He could find a job here. I mean there's a lot of jobs here. Then I'd get to see him everyday. That would make me so happy. I want the best for DJ. If he was able to go to college and take some classes he could get a really good job in the future. He's plenty smart! I know he could do it! Computers are something he's interested in and there's a lot of job openings for that. At least here. Even if we don't end up together *knock on wood* I feel like this is sort of something I can give him. A chance for him to go to college and have a better future. It isn't that you can't be happy or have a good job without college but he'd have a much better chance of having a better job that makes more money. He already knows that. He wants to get married someday, have kids and be able to support them. My mom asked me if I was just being a rescuer or if I'm doing this because I really love him. What do I want? Where do I see this going? It was hard for me to tell my mother that I loved him. I don't know why. I told her that I love him and want him to be the one so much. I really want there to be a future for us. I want thebest for both of us. I'm worried that with him living two hours away... working... while I'm here in Reno going to college that not being able to see each other much is going to put a huge strain on our relationship. I would do anything for him to move in and make this work. I've never wanted anything more than this. He is so wonderful. He has so many good qualities about him. He's not shallow. He's giving, caring, and loving. He's understanding and supportive. He is such a good guy with such a good heart. I love him so much. He deserves to have the best. He makes me so happy. I would do anything to make him happy. He is so different from so many guys I have gone out with. If this relationship ends it won't be because of me.
My mother said she already talked to my dad about this a little bit which surprised me. I hadn't mentioned this before. Basically what my dad said it that it can't be something that interferes and makes problems in the house. We don't have the money to support someone else, so DJ will have to buy his own food and junk. Right now we're having to take a little out of savings every month to help cover the bills. You know what makes me mad? I know I'm getting off the subject here, but I have to get this off my chest. My mom bought some stuff off ebay and then today went out and bought a bunch of shirts. The woman has three closets full. She doesn't need more!
Anyway, back to DJ. I suggested that we all four have contracts stating what is to be expected from each person. DJ would have to help around the house. I don't think he'd have a problem with that. He always cleans up after himself. He lets out our dogs when ever they have to go potty. He even cleans up after our dogs when they have accidents in the house without being asked! That really impressed my mother. LOL He is the type of guy who will change diapers! If he has no problem cleaning up after our dumbass dogs he wouldn't have a problem with cleaning up after his own baby! He is definitely a keeper!
As for there being rules and junk. I can live with that. It's my parents house. I doubt DJ and I would have a problem with helping out with chores and junk. We wouldn't be able to sleep on the downstairs couch together every night like we have been when he's here. He'd have to sleep in the guest room which is okay. A lot of parents would not let their daughters boyfriend come live with them. I don't want to have some huge fight with my parents if I end up just moving out and living with DJ. Family is important to me. I'd like to keep having a good relationship with my parents. My parents want the best for me. They want me to be happy. They know I love DJ. They can see that he loves me. They like him. My mom can see that I'm happy. My mom seems totally for it. My dad might not like it totally but I think he'll let it happen. I don't know about DJ. He said he'd do anything for me but He just got a new job. He'd have to leave his friends. He could go visit he's friends though right? *sighs* I want this to happen so much. I'll do everything I can to see that it does. I'll try not to get my hopes up too high. Things don't always go your way...especially when you're dealing with other people. What's meant to be... will be.

Well, I was feeling a little depressed, but I talked to my good friend Sam and now I feel a lot better. I realize that my life is good. I guess I was just feeling a little lonely. I don't feel like I have a many friends outside of the internet. Isn't that sad?! I'm such a loser!
I filled out most of my application. I'm gonna find a job and start working full time. I know most of you would think I'm crazy to give up sleeping in and watching movies and junk like that all day, but I need more in my life. I hate being alone all the time, and I need money. I'm afraid if I don't make some changes in my life now I'll always be a bum and that's not what I want. I feel like I'm wasting my life away.
I plan to start taking college classes in January. I have to or else I won't be covered by my father's health insurance. I can't afford that because without insurance my inhalers and junk would cost a buttload.
I'm planning to go into nursing. I think it's what I was meant to do. I want to do something that helps people. I realize it's going to be hard, but I've always liked a challenge. It's just something I have to do. I need to make something of myself. I think everything will be okay. I'm excited to see what the future holds for me.

Hey...
I just got out of bed. Now I'm sittin' here listening to Chop Suey. *yawn* At least my eyes feel better. I was stupid and left my contacts in for 5 days in a row.
By the way, all my cousins are married, so don't be asking me to hook you up. *shakes her head*
I need to fill out my Shopko application today. I need to make a little money. I told DJ I would. He thinks irresponsible because I spent some college money on stuff "I didn't need" which is true.
He's way too nice. He decided to take about 50 bucks out of each of his paychecks and put it aside for me. I...of course argued with him, but he's a little stubborn and will do it anyway. It's his money, and I guess he can do what he wants. I'm just afraid if he did break up with me he'd really regret it. I don't feel like I bring anything to the relationship except maybe some banana bread. He thinks I try too hard to please him...maybe I do. I guess I just feel like I want to make him happy, so he won't regret asking me out. Is that stupid? Do you know how great it feels when you know someone actually loves you and isn't just trying to get in your pants? There's still some good guys out there.

I'm sitting here eating ice cream for breakfast. Somethin' wrong with that? *giggles*
Today is DJ's first day at work. He's not gonna be home for another couple hours. I hope it's going well.
He came to visit on Thursday and went back home yesterday. A centipede bit DJ on the back yesterday morning when we were sleeping on the couch. I bet it really hurt! It turned red and swelled up a little. He's fine now. We caught the little sucker and stuck it in a jar. They're pretty gross looking.
DJ and I had our 2 month anniversary on Sunday. We went to the Sparks Marina and had a nighttime picnic. It took us forever to find it, but it was worth it. It was cold and there were some rather annoying birds, but It was really nice.

I Peter 3:3-5
~Don't be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.~